Start as you mean to, go on

I started 2008 with a sense of new possibility as I realized that I was well established in my profession and could basically earn enough money to do what I pleased.

I begin 2009 with my friend pointlessness sat upon my head like a squatty toad.

What do I do? A job comes in, I do the job. When I have no work to do, I can do what I like, but I have no passions or even interests really.

So I resolve to use some of my free time for jobby improvement - studying the subjects that come up in my work, enhancing my profile, making myself known to more potential work-givers. This is a dependent motivation, do B to do A better. If there was no A, B would be pointless. Also, I only do A to earn money. If this was not necessary, I would happily never do A again, and would probably let the supporting skills and connections wither.

Why earn the money? Independence. Self esteem. The foundations of a tolerable life.

I don't seek much for myself, yet I have little to offer other people, except the skill I use in my job - but in this I am merely aiding the flow of communication, not touching the lives of individuals. Is that what I want to do - touch the lives of individuals? Maybe with a long stick.